LATEST NEWS

Governor’s Mansion to Install Democracy-Proof Foam Front Door

ATLANTA, GA--The Governor's mansion, built in 1967, has revealed a critical security flaw. Lawmakers hiding inside to pursue the normal course of voter suppression...

State’s COVID Patients Relish Single Upside: They Can’t Smell Bradford Pears

ATLANTA, GA--Though they are quick to point out that they wouldn't wish their infection on anyone and certainly have also been lucky with mild,...

MATURE HEADLINES

Thousands of Bodies Discovered Under Oakland Cemetery

ATLANTA, GA--A routine class exercise ended in horror and disgust yesterday when Elias Ranger, Professor...

Local Teacher Finally Getting Through to Himself

ATLANTA--After months of “just listening to self drone on and on,” students at Lakeview High...

Atlanta City Council Members Vote Unanimously to Get Themselves Elected Mayor

ATLANTA, GA--Atlanta City Council has voted unanimously to decriminalize marijuana in a move sure to...

Weather Update: Roads to Work Treacherous, Unpassable. Roads to Bar Not a Problem

ATLANTA, GA--In a peculiar weather twist not seen since the last time it "snowed," no...

Local Racist Congratulates Self on Ability to Enjoy College Football

ATLANTA--Local racist Buck Falls congratulated himself this weekend on his ability to enjoy college football...

Sexy Bee Sexy Barfs on Sexy Honda

MABLETON--Halloween party attendee and sexy bee Debbie Donner (not her real name) suffered the effects...