Anonymous Op-Ed from Brian Kemp’s Office: Voting Totally Secure, Paper Ballots Suck, Brian Kemp Rules

ATLANTA,GA--An anonymous source claiming to be a "señor official" inside Secretary of State Brian Kemp's office released an opinion piece this week. Text of the piece follows: My fellow Georgians, I and the other secret patriots in the great office of the handsome, charming,...

Georgia to Serve Disenfranchised Voters with New Polling Center at Bottom...

CLAY COUNTY--The Georgia Secretary of State's office announced this morning that due to mounting outrage against the shuttering of polling places in Randolph County,...

Creative Loafing Introduces Staff to Hip New Idea of Crowd Employment

ATLANTA--Creative Loafing CEO Ben Laynov announced this week that the popular Atlanta alt-weekly magazine would move much of its staff to what he called...

MATURE HEADLINES

Atlanta’s Citizens Demand Simpler African Political Crusades

ATLANTA--Atlanta's socially-minded citizens were rocked yesterday when a video of some asshole doing something...

Atlanta Rejoices as Power 96-1 Brings More Shitty Top 40

ATLANTA--Radio listeners are ecstatic this morning at the news that yet more shitty top 40...

New Buckhead Walmart To Require Coat and Tie

BUCKHEAD--The Walmart corporation, responding to resistance from the Buckhead neighborhood where it plans to build...

Clint Eastwood Mobbed By Frisky Septuagenarians at Johnny’s Hideaway

ATLANTA -- Legendary film star Clint Eastwood, 81, in town shooting "Trouble with the Curve,"...

Republican Party Releases Holiday Single: “I’m Dreaming of a War Christmas”

WASHINGTON, DC--In a moment of uncharacteristic unity, the Republican frontrunners for President in 2106 gathered...

MARTA to Extend Shitty Rail Service to Savannah

ATLANTA--Atlanta's city leaders are calling for a new high-speed rail extension which will connect the...