Governor’s Mansion to Install Democracy-Proof Foam Front Door
ATLANTA, GA--The Governor's mansion, built in 1967, has revealed a critical security flaw. Lawmakers hiding inside to pursue the normal course of voter suppression...
State’s COVID Patients Relish Single Upside: They Can’t Smell Bradford Pears
ATLANTA, GA--Though they are quick to point out that they wouldn't wish their infection on anyone and certainly have also been lucky with mild,...
MATURE HEADLINES
Thousands of Bodies Discovered Under Oakland Cemetery
ATLANTA, GA--A routine class exercise ended in horror and disgust yesterday when Elias Ranger, Professor...
Local Teacher Finally Getting Through to Himself
ATLANTA--After months of “just listening to self drone on and on,” students at Lakeview High...
Atlanta City Council Members Vote Unanimously to Get Themselves Elected Mayor
ATLANTA, GA--Atlanta City Council has voted unanimously to decriminalize marijuana in a move sure to...
Weather Update: Roads to Work Treacherous, Unpassable. Roads to Bar Not a Problem
ATLANTA, GA--In a peculiar weather twist not seen since the last time it "snowed," no...
Local Racist Congratulates Self on Ability to Enjoy College Football
ATLANTA--Local racist Buck Falls congratulated himself this weekend on his ability to enjoy college football...
Sexy Bee Sexy Barfs on Sexy Honda
MABLETON--Halloween party attendee and sexy bee Debbie Donner (not her real name) suffered the effects...
