Secretary of State’s Office Working Overtime to Chisel New Voter Registration into Stone Tablets

ATLANTA, GA -- Though voting right's groups and Democratic representatives have called the Secretary of State's handling of new voter registrations into question ahead of the midterm elections, the office maintains that it is chiseling the names into granite as fast as it possibly...

Anonymous Op-Ed from Brian Kemp’s Office: Voting Totally Secure, Paper Ballots...

ATLANTA,GA--An anonymous source claiming to be a "señor official" inside Secretary of State Brian Kemp's office released an opinion piece this week. Text...

Georgia to Serve Disenfranchised Voters with New Polling Center at Bottom...

CLAY COUNTY--The Georgia Secretary of State's office announced this morning that due to mounting outrage against the shuttering of polling places in Randolph County,...

MATURE HEADLINES

Rockstar Games Announces Grand Theft Bicycle Atlanta

NEW YORK CITY--Rockstar Games, publishers of the popular Grand Theft Auto video game series, has...

Sexy Bee Sexy Barfs on Sexy Honda

MABLETON--Halloween party attendee and sexy bee Debbie Donner (not her real name) suffered the effects...
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Americans Ready to Return to Sports In Which It’s Okay to Be a Bit Fat

ATLANTA, GA--The heartbreaking loss to Belguim in World Cup Soccer last night has left US...

Washington Lawmakers on Preventing School Shootings: “LA LA LA LA NOT LISTENING LA LA”

WASHINGTON, DC--Top government officials gave a statement via press conference this morning in the never-ending...

The Atlanta Banana’s Picks to Fill the Six Empty Dekalb County School Board Seats

DEKALB--The Dekalb County School board needs six new members as fast as possible, and we...