LATEST NEWS

Governor’s Mansion to Install Democracy-Proof Foam Front Door

ATLANTA, GA--The Governor's mansion, built in 1967, has revealed a critical security flaw. Lawmakers hiding inside to pursue the normal course of voter suppression...

State’s COVID Patients Relish Single Upside: They Can’t Smell Bradford Pears

ATLANTA, GA--Though they are quick to point out that they wouldn't wish their infection on anyone and certainly have also been lucky with mild,...

MATURE HEADLINES

Peachtree Tee Shirt Not Worth the Walk if it’s Rainy

ATLANTA--The world's biggest 10k footrace is held right here in Atlanta, Georgia every year on...

Delta Air Lines Introduces Fees for Emotional Baggage

ATLANTA—Delta Air Lines released a statement today that they will have to start charging for...

Aspiring Writer Couldn’t Even Finish Suicide Note

EAST ATLANTA—Late last night, police discovered the body of 35-year-old aspiring writer, Donald Miller, in...

Atlanta Man Honors Servicemen and Women by Getting DUI

CUMMING--Atlanta area native Jerry Holmes honored our hard working American servicemen and women this Memorial...

MARTA Announces Promotional Pop Band: Singletrackin’

ATLANTA, GA--The Metro Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority, or MARTA, announced this morning that they'd use...

Evil Mastermind Extends Sales Meeting with One More Question

Feel my wrath, suckers! Jefferson was about to close this meeting and release you dim...