Georgia GOP to Win Landslide Victories Now That State Has Only One County: Alpharetta

ALPHARETTA, GA -- Long a bastion of Atlanta's moneyed elite, the city of Alpharetta will enjoy new prestige as the state of Georgia's one and only county. Alpharetta, famous culturally for being the state's last great McMansion preserve, was also well known to scientists...

Georgia Lawmakers Once More Proudly Ignorant Now That Amazon is Gone

ATLANTA, GA--The long oppression of aging straight white males in the Georgia General Assembly has ended, and they have proudly returned to the contravention...

How The Kemp Stole Georgia

Every voter in Georgia Liked voting a lot … But Secretary of State Brian Kemp,

MATURE HEADLINES

Top Ten Atlanta Neighborhoods to Pander to With a Top Ten List

Neighborhoods! Atlanta's got heaps of them. If you live in the Atlanta metro area, chances...

SCIENCE: Great A’Tuin, World-Supporting Turtle, Has Flown Away Into Space

DEEP SPACE--Astrophysicists and lovers of science are deeply saddened today to announce that Great A'Tuin,...

Editorial: Devil Says Sunday Sales Suck

HELL -- Hey guys, it's me, The Devil! LOL. Just rappin' at ya from my...

Rich White Lady Goes Into Labor Like That’s a Big Deal or Something

LONDON--A rich white European lady has gone into labor as if that's some kind of...

Latex Condom Manufacturer Warns Miley: “Condoms Aren’t Clothes”

LINCOLN, NE--The Wanglove Latex Rubber Company released a statement this morning which expressed concern over...

Gas Stations Selflessly Raise Prices to Appease Angry Weather God

ATLANTA--With Isaac hovering offshore, Atlanta gas stations are raising prices in hopes of appeasing Uranus,...