Six Flags to Unveil Ride: ‘285’ Lasts 5 Hours, Goes 0.7 Miles

It's not so much a roller coaster as a spirit crusher. PHOTO: greeblie

ATLANTA — When Six Flags Over Georgia reopens in mid-March, they’ll unveil a new ride called “285” that lasts five hours and goes 0.7 miles.

In an effort to create attractions with more ties to the surrounding area, Six Flags asked patrons to fill out surveys. On the surveys, people were to list things they associate most with Atlanta. The number-one item was “Traffic.” Number two was “Fucking traffic.”

Famed roller-coaster designer Donny Steel designed the coaster. He took inspiration from a helicopter ride over the OTP boundary. “It was just this huge line of cars, man,” he said. “From way high up there, it looked like God threw a million matchbox cars down and put them all in a line, then made them stay still.”

The coaster includes things like “Construction Zones”, where the ride slows from its typical 14-miles-per-hour to a near-standstill. On the side of the tracks, “workers” will be standing around and talking, instead of fixing anything.

Six Flags has also configured a way to have other coaster cars fall on the track, to simulate impediments caused by accidents, which causes people to sit and hate their lives for another forty minutes.

Sometimes your “car” crashes as well — deliberately and safely, so no one is injured — but riders have to sit for another half hour while a H.E.R.O. unit comes.

At the top of the second hill, a camera is set up to photograph riders, who are encouraged to give the middle finger and shout “FUUUUUCK YOOOUUU!” to simulate the true driving experience.

The ride will be randomly closed for a few days, usually on the weekends.

Steel still doesn’t understand why the ride was constructed, because it’s “boring as hell,” he said.

“People should also realize that driving here on 285 and then riding ‘285’ takes about 12 hours total,” he added,” so they should probably prepare to make a day of it.”