Local Teacher Finally Getting Through to Himself

I got it bad, so bad. I'm hot for myself. PHOTO: CIMIC Centre of Excellence

ATLANTA–After months of “just listening to [him]self drone on and on,” students at Lakeview High School report that 11th grade English teacher Timothy Brennan appears to finally be breaking through his own rough exterior.

Brennan, an American literature teacher, got off to an admittedly rocky start. “For the first semester, it was like I was talking to a brick wall,” he explained.  “It couldn’t have been more obvious that I didn’t give a fuck. Absolutely nothing I tried was getting me anywhere. It’s like, I’d half-assedly feign interest Hawthorne’s use of symbolism in The Scarlett Letter, but I’m pretty sure the kids knew I was bullshitting. And any time I got going on allegory in Puritan sermons, I was actively fighting against rolling my eyes and telling myself to piss off.”

“It just didn’t seem like there was anything in there,” said Brennan, referring to himself.

However, a shift seemed to occur around the time his classes began studying transcendentalism.

“When we read ‘Self-Reliance,’ I could tell I was finally getting somewhere,” Brennan said, smiling. “Emerson, Thoreau—I mean, have you read that shit? Like, really read it. It’s insane, dude. There’s a reason why we still read these guys in classrooms today, and I’m just now beginning to see what that reason is.”

Brennan has been a teacher for the past 17 years.

Reportedly, Brennan, so inspired by his own teaching, has been staying late after school for the past week, eager to extend his learning beyond the classroom hours. Consequently, his students have noticed a marked change in his attitude and teaching style.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately,” said Caroline Locke, a student in Brennan’s third period class. “The other day, he stood on a desk while reading us Walt Whitman. We all felt pretty awkward, but he seemed to be into it,” she shrugged. “Plus, he keeps wearing blazers with jeans and trying to get everyone to call him ‘Mr. B.’”

“It’s super creepy,” Locke added.


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