Stuck in Traffic, Senators Loeffler and Perdue Demand Red Lights Resign

    Photo by Richard Solano from Pexels

    ATLANTA–While caught in a sudden snarl of cars on Georgia 400, GA Senators Kelly Loeffler (R, GA) and David Perdue (R, GA) co-authored a letter to the Georgia Department of Transportation demanding that all red lights in the city resign.

    The citizens of George [sic] are angry. George’s[sic] people deserver better. Hooray for George! [sic]

    The statement went on to describe itself in confusing terms:
    “This isn’t hard. It isn’t partisan. It also isn’t a delicious block of cheese. It’s not a sheep or a fish. It cannot be used to soothe a crying babe, nor could one build a bridge out of it.”

    The Georgia Department of Transportation’s top administrator, Olive Youroads, had this to say, “I don’t know what is happening. I don’t know who George is. I am a Republican too so I don’t know why they’re attacking me.” Ms. Youroads then stared off into space for a few moments. She then asked, “Who is George?”

    Reporters were not equipped to answer.