Your Dekalb Farmer’s Market Expands to Make Room for Colder Temperatures, More Weird Produce

These food items are recognizable, but the Farmer's Market also stocks some that resemble alien eggs. PHOTO: bluebike, Flickr

DECATUR–Your Dekalb Farmer’s Market has filed documents indicating plans to expand its retail space to provide shoppers with more of what has made it a success so far: freezing temperatures and weird-looking produce.

“Oh of course we still have normal vegetables and fruits people recognize as edible,” said spokesman Harry Appul, “but we also really love stocking fruits from far-flung corners of the globe which resemble some kind of weird modern art. We need more space for those weird ones.”

The business is also installing seven more truck-sized air conditioners to bring the inside temperatures down. Currently, most shoppers bring a light jacket to wear while inside, but soon they’ll need full down parkas and heavy boots to stave off hypothermia.

On a tour of the facility, reporters noticed a saucer-shaped machine peeking out from under a tarp. When questioned about the object, Appul hastily drew the tarp over it.

“Oh that? That’s nothing,” he laughed. “Probably a weather balloon. Certainly not an extraterrestrial ship that delivers alien eggs to be incubated here in sub-zero temperatures while we pretend to be a farmer’s market. Have you seen our wines?”