LOL INTERNET–A new craze is sweeping the house pet social media site Critter, in which the pets justify ridiculous behavior with the acronym “YOL9,” short for “you only live nine lives.”
Critter, launched in 2006 as a service for house pets to update each other on every forgettable detail of their everyday lives, has become the eighth most influential entertainment outlet among all pets. It is number three among cats alone, behind “being petted,” and “chasing a laser pointer.”
Reporters spoke with Flufficus J. Whiskerface, or “Fluffy” for short, housecat at 1215 Virginia Ave, this morning as he lounged in a patch of sunlight inside a million-dollar home.
“We only go around nine times in this crazy world, meow” said Fluffy, “You gotta let people know you’re livin’ on the edge. The future is meow, and shit, you know?”
Examples of Fluffy’s latest updates include:
DaFluffKat: Yowling behind the neighbor’s house at 3am. Not having sex, just being a dick. #YOL9
Fluffy further indicated disdain for dog status updates, saying they never use the YOL9 tag correctly.
“Man Critter is so played out meow,” he said. “I liked it when, like, no one knew about it. Meow dumbass dogs are posting tired shit every day, it’s pretty much over.”
But Sport, Labrador retriever who lives three houses down from Fluffy, doesn’t agree.
“Freinds? Are we friends? You smell okay. We’re friends!” he said. “Haha! Hey… hey, yeah! Shit, man. All right! Hey, throw something for me to go get, will ya?”
Sport’s latest updates include this one, posted two days ago:
SPORTLAB2002: JUST CHEWED SAME SHOE I PISSED ON LAST WEEK #YOL9
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about right meow,” said Fluffy. “So mainstream and so boring.”