ATLANTA–Due to the overwhelming success of the Atlanta Pride Weekend, the city’s bigots will gather today in Alpharetta to begin work on their plan to hold a competing festival, Smug Weekend. There will be a craft fair, musical acts, and opportunities for all ages to force their beliefs on others.
Chet “Whitey” McCracken, head of Smug Weekend’s planning committee, described the activities the festival would hold via press conference this morning.
“We can’t wait to get some of the city’s most smug bigots together in one place,” said McCracken. “Surely there will be no grumpier festival all year.”
Attendees will enjoy a full lineup of musical acts, headlined by Christian dance pop band, God’s Love is Not 4U.
There will also be booths with carnival-style games such as Separate A Loving Couple in God’s Name, in which participants play by forcefully shoving two people who love each other apart.
“We think it makes perfect sense that we’d have a festival weekend in the park that competes with Pride,” said McCracken. “We support all forms of equality that suit us.”
The festival has not yet been signed off on by the city, or by Piedmont Park’s officials as of press time, but sources close to the Smug weekend leadership have revealed that they are praying that all will go well, and simultaneously placing strategic campaign contributions to “speed things along.”