State of Georgia Realizes There’s an Internet

This is what the Internet looks like. Nerdy spaghetti. PHOTO: Adam Caudill

ATLANTA–The Georgia state government has realized, much to its collective horror, that since 1994 citizens have been free to purchase goods via the Internet, rather than having to travel to a brick and mortar business establishment. An aide let it slip in conversation that the state was not applying sales tax to these purchases, which touched off a political powder keg.

“Of course, as a conservative, I am against new taxes,” said Fuller Hotayer, a Republican from Hogswaller, GA. “Except in this case, when I have suddenly realized that it could mean more money for me.”

Democrats also were jazzed about the new source of revenue.

“I am against whatever the other guy said he was for,” Announced Bear Leealive, of Standertonsville. “Did anyone write it down? Shit.”

The assembled legislators seemed to be of the impression that the Internet was mostly porn and pictures of cats doing silly things. While reporters confirmed that these do comprise a large portion of Internet content, they also pointed out that everything from electronics to clothes could be purchased online.

“Well I just don’t understand any of this,” said Hotayer. “But I’m pretty sure I want to tax it. Can we do that?”

“I emphatically disagree!” announced Leealive. “But we should definitely tax whatever you said.”


  1. My first job was in fact with a state gov’t agency, back in 1997, and um, they did know about the Internet, even then. I was the webmaster for that agency. Though I wasn’t allowed to use PDFs for several years because, so my superiors said, the agencies’ employees were not sophisticated enough to understand how to download and use Acrobat Reader. I also led workshops explaining how to use a browser and search engines. Some people could -still- benefit from that type of class.

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