Dr. Sanjay Gupta Still Against Patchouli and White Guy Dreads

I am so high, man. Not really, I just said that so you'd think I'm as high as you are. PHOTO: KelvynSkee

WASHINGTON–Prominent figures in the health community have announced their support for the medical use of marijuana, but warn that they still think patchouli stinks, and that dreadlocks look pretty dumb on white guys. Dr. Keith Ganjay, a neurosurgeon who has the President’s ear, wrote an article for CNN this morning.

“There does not appear to be anything wrong with marijuana, medically,” said Dr. Gupta, “But wearing patchouli oil is no replacement for normal human bathing. Also, it stinks.”

Gupta added that dreadlocks on white guys look “fuckin’ stupid,” though he outlined no medical reason why they shouldn’t be worn as long as they are washed.

Patchouli is a bushy herb of the mint family which is often used to unsuccessfully mask the smell of illegal pot smoking. It can also be used to not cover the smell body odor from unwashed humans.

The doctor says his studies confirmed that dread locks look quite good on many peoples of the world, most notably women, there’s just something about white guys that makes them dumb looking.

“Sorry, white guys,” Gupta concluded. “I’ll never change my mind about this. Maybe get a spray tan?”