Rich White Lady Goes Into Labor Like That’s a Big Deal or Something

I say, are we still rich as fuck? Yes? Brilliant. PHOTO: Carfax2

LONDON–A rich white European lady has gone into labor as if that’s some kind of remarkable thing, probably because she knows she’ll be able to feed and clothe the little crumpet muncher for the entirety of its life.

The discomfort of childbirth is a gold standard of discomfort against which all other discomforts of life are measured, despite the fact that only around half of human beings can experience it. Even so, women regularly undertake the endeavor. Some even endure it multiple times in their lives.

Though sources are hazy at this early stage, experts have predicted that not only will the rich white lady in question receive adequate medical care, she probably even has her own room in which to endure the process of birth, unlike rank-and-file women who produce their offspring as best they can when the time comes.

The Atlanta Banana wishes good health and smooth delivery to all mothers and babies.