NEW YORK, NY–World famous plus sized model Evangeline Moody has announced this week through her publicist that she will retreat from public life, thanks to her weight soaring to almost healthy levels for her body type and height. Her agency, Sup Ladies, has acknowledged that her weight gain, and her subsequent unemployability, are regrettable but necessary.
“We wish Evangeline nothing but the best in her new, regrettable life as someone who eats a completely healthy diet,” said Klaus Prauz, Talent Director at Sup Ladies. Prauz has said that he encouraged Moody to cease her horrifying spiral into near-adequate consumption of organic vegetables with occasional protein, but his cries fell on deaf ears.
Moody’s statement read:
It is with great regret that I must confess my addiction to healthy, normal eating patterns that can sustain my body’s functions.
Model industry friends close to Moody report that she can now actually sit on a normal couch without fear of slipping into the crease between the cushions, and appears to be experiencing increased energy, better sleep, and improved general mood.
“It’s disgusting,” said Prauz. “But I guess this is what she wants.”
Moody was unavailable for comment, but has been spotted enjoying a small apple with a glass of water.