Opinion: You Should Already Know What This Is About

PHOTO: amelia j dowd

By Your Girlfriend

What? You’re actually reading this? You know, if you really loved me you would already know what this is all about. I thought we had something special, but I guess I was wrong.

Am I mad? No. Just disappointed. Can’t you tell? After being together as long as we have, I’d think you’d know the difference. But maybe I don’t know you as well as I thought I did. It’s probably my fault for loving you and putting so much trust in you.

By the way, if I have to literally tell you what I want for my birthday, you shouldn’t even bother. I mean, I left you plenty of hints. Haven’t you looked at my Pinterest boards? Come on. And if you weren’t listening to me while you were on the phone with your dad, whose fault do you think that is?. Instead, you got me perfume. Seriously? Why? Do you not like the one I usually wear? Did your ex-girlfriend wear this one? Sometimes I really can’t believe you.

I talked to my mom about this for five hours yesterday, and she agrees with me. By the way, you forgot her birthday. She told me it’s no big deal. Kind of like when I told you that getting burgers instead of Mexican food like we had planned wasn’t a big deal if that’s what you really wanted.

Look, I know we can get through this. We just need to work on your communication skills.

Happy Two-Month Anniversary, babe!