“Only a Big Dumb Idiot Would Buy Expensive Coffee” says Local Craft Beer Wanker

PHOTO: InfoMofo

ATLANTA, GA–Speaking from the checkout line at Hop Skip And a Drunk, a local craft beer growler store, Javi Naverwon, local craft beer snob and self-styled social media “guru” expressed deep disdain for people who spend money on expensive coffees. Witnesses say Naverwon was hoping to impress a young woman standing behind him in line.

“Expensive coffee? Hah! Those people are idiots,” said Naverwon, “I keep it real. Just regular coffee for me. Who needs all those flavors?”

When the woman nodded politely, Naverwon, encouraged, described in detail the brewing process that had led to the production of the Kolsh she was holding, even going so far as to inspect the bottles for their brewing dates so that he could predict which of the two brewers on staff might have been at work that day.

When the young woman attempted to diffuse some of the intense awkwardness of the situation by saying she often just drank regular American lager, Naverwon flew into a frenzy of local craft beer suggestions as suitable replacements for those “cans of watery piss” she’d been consuming.

As of press time, Naverwon was still welcome in the store, but had been asked to please step forward so that the line could move along. Witnesses say no one at the scene was impressed.