November Cold Snap Heralds the End Times

We are all going to die. PHOTO: Abe Novy

ATLANTA–Pack up your belongings, load them into a truck, and light the truck on fire, because social media is abuzz this morning with clear signs that we are all doomed. Yes, the end times are here, and you’d better prepare yourself.

Or don’t prepare yourself. Doesn’t matter, really. Either way, the city is going to halt, then explode, then freeze in the middle of that explosion, then the shards of that frozen explosion will, themselves, explode.

Such is the magnitude of this cold snap, according to the volume and urgency of tweets collected this morning by unpaid intern Jeff.

We should really think about paying Jeff. Nevermind! It’s too late. We’re all doomed. These are the end times.