ATLANTA, GA–Award-winning comedian Trevor Noah has been announced as the new host of The Daily Show, prompting many local people to proclaim suddenly and as loud as possible that they’ve known Noah for a long time.
“Ol’ Trevor Noah?” asked the guy you can’t remember following on Twitter. “Of course I know him! He used to comb my goats for me. I would say to him, ‘Travis! You’re really gonna go somewhere.’ And he did.”
The lady at the laundromat looked out the window, her eyes growing far away and misty like a San Francisco morning. “I remember when Tripper Boehner used to come in here and read news stories to me, then offer social commentary on them,” she said. “Why, he was just a boy then. And I had just won the Miss America pageant.”
As for your humble correspondent, well, I was actually born with him, but it was by surrogate in-vetro fertilization so we’re technically not related. But I always knew he’d grow up to be something really important. And I was so right.
You give ’em hell, Tanner Farrow!