Music Lover Agonizes Over Lyrics to Send With Dick Pic

PHOTO: Tony Alter

ATLANTA, GA–Music lover Strom Dagitar spent nearly an hour last night deliberating over lyrics to attach to the photos of his genitals which he posts on an internet forum. People scrolling the forum will see the short snippet of lyrics along with a small preview of the photo, and then, according to Dagitar, contemplate his choice of lyrics as they view his penis.

“I’ve just always loved music,” said Dagitar. “Classical, rock, country, hip hop, you name it, I love it. But I have to find the perfect lyrics among all those styles to go along with my boner. Really do it justice, you know?”

Dagitar, a computer programmer by day, began posting photos of himself years ago, but doesn’t want people to think he’s a slut just because they’re looking at his erect penis on the internet.

“Ugh, this is so frustrating! I want people to know that I’m shy, but also available,” said Dagitar. “And that I also have photos of my butthole if anyone’s interested.”