I Am Too Important To Learn How Traffic Circles Work


There are two of these so-called traffic circles on my commute to work, and I want it known that I, Barry Long-Paas, refuse to learn how they operate. I am simply too important to take the time to educate myself, and since no government official has come to my house and led me through their workings repeatedly, I am forced to continue my campaign of improper and likely dangerous navigation thereof.

Oh sure, people say these things are less expensive than red lights, and they offer greater traffic flow with less accidents, but those figures don’t take into account people who are deathly afraid of change. Does it matter if change comes in a pleasing circle shape? No. No it does not.

So if you see me in a traffic circle, and I am stopping seemingly for no reason and defeating the purpose of that circle’s installation, save your honks. I know I’m doing it wrong, and I don’t care.