LIVINGSTON, LA–Humor scientists working in the gravitational waves detection facility in Louisiana say they are close to discovering the source of gravitational waves: your mom, who is so fat.
“Your mom is so fat,” declared Nigel Hueremeyer, gravitational team lead. He paused for effect as the rest of his team responded in observation of the scientific method, skipping — as granted — the first few steps thereof.
The graduate students, interns, and assorted team members, standing behind Huermeyer on the dais, chorused as one, “What are the results of your tests to determine the source of the fatness of our moms?”
“Gravitational waves,” concluded Hueremeyer, adjusting his glasses.
“This data aligns with your hypothesis!” chorused the team.
Glasses were adjusted on noses around the room. Somewhere, in the distance, what is presumed to have been (and may continue to be) a dog barked. Our reporters were assured that research regarding this matter is ongoing.