Homeless Atlanta Man Donates Sperm To Library

PHOTO: Paul Lowry

Poncey-Highland—Early this morning, Theodore Reynolds, a local homeless man, donated a record amount of sperm to the Ponce De Leon branch of the Atlanta-Fulton Public Library System. The philanthropist, known by many as Dirty Ted, made the generous contribution between 9 and 9:30 a.m. according to janitors on the scene.

This type of donation is typical of Reynolds’ giving nature. According to friends and family, he’s been giving to that library regularly for the past 15 years.

“That place has been like a second cardboard box to me,” said Reynolds, whose humanitarian efforts have inspired people across the city. “It was the least I could do.”

Library officials were unavailable for comment as they were installing a new security system in Reynolds’ honor.


    • Two inaccuracies in this spoof– there are no janitors on the scene, and admin would not be adding any kind of security

Comments are closed.