Halloween The Only Thing Holding Back Red Tide of Xmas

Thanksgiving is already gone. Halloween, you're our only hope!

The relentless wave of consumerism emanating from the Christmas spendgasm has washed the Thanksgiving holiday directly off the calendar, and threatens to overwhelm Halloween as well.

If it weren’t for the strength of the Candy Lobby, propping up Halloween against the legislative might of Big Toy, Halloween too would have been consumed, and likely will be within the next ten years.