ATLANTA, GA–In an effort to calm citizens and allay fears that the impending wintry mix storm will again disable the state, Governor Nathan Deal announced last night that the recreational use of marijuana will be legalized for the duration of the storm. The announcement comes as a surprise to Georgia pot dealers, who are now experiencing the same rush typically only seen in grocery store bread and milk aisles.
Governor Deal addressed assembled press and officials last night:
“I would like to not only continue, but enhance my apology after the last winter storm by legalizing, for the duration of the coming winter storm, the recreational use of marijuana in the state of Georgia,” he said.
The governor added that he didn’t condone the use of marijuana for recreational purposes, or even for medical purposes, but conceded that everyone could use “a big dose of chilling out,” after the Snow Jam 2014 disaster just a few short weeks ago.
The previous storm caused extreme discomfort for motorists stuck in their cars on Georgia roadways due to clogged, barely-navigable roadways. In some cases, drivers spent over 24 hours in their cars. The disaster was somehow a great source of amusement for people who live in northern areas of the country.
The northern U.S. is a frozen, lifeless hellscape for months at a time, which is why no good looking or friendly people live there. Governor Deal reminded Georgians to take copious photos of themselves enjoying the gorgeous 65 degree days we will no doubt have as early as March, a time of year when frozen Yankee snow hipster families are likely debating whether or not they can thaw the family dog for consumption.
The governor concluded his address for apologizing once again for the previous snow storm.
“Aw, what the hell,” he said. “Y’all might as well go on and get gay married too. Let’s just get through this thing!”