Gold Medal Winner Elated, Gets To Keep His Family

The olympic flag flies somwhere in England, which is near Europe. PHOTO: DFCALG

HARTSFIELD — A North Korean gold medal winner, Om Yun-Ae, on layover at Hartsfield, spoke with reporters today before returning to his home nation where he will get to keep his family.

“I’m so glad that all the years I have spent training for my event have brought happiness to the Great Leader. And also I am pleased that my family will not be killed.”

Yun-Ae, whose event involves picking up very heavy things, has been training for the olympics his whole life. When shown a video of the training montage from the movie Rocky IV, he nodded and said “Yeah it was pretty much like that.”

“I was also planning to defect if at all possible, but now I can safely go back to my home country and enjoy such luxuries as food and a healthy, not-deceased family.”