Georgia’s 3rd District GOP Warns Governor, “We Will Piss Our Pants”

PHOTO: Michael Rivera

ATLANTA, GA–GOP legislators, indignant over Governor Deal’s veto of the “religious liberty” legislation which aimed to take the state’s civil rights back to the stone age, have sent a clear message of disapproval to the Governor by vowing to thoroughly and publicly piss their pants.

“Our voices must be heard,” shouted Rasmus Burnsickle. “If the gays are allowed basic human decency in this state, we will all piss right into our suit pants in front of God and everybody!”

The Governor vetoed the bill after an overwhelming outpouring of disapproval from multinational corporations who do business in the state. The companies threatened to take their business, jobs, and tax dollars elsewhere if the law passed. Detractors read the law’s language and interpreted it to mean limitations for same sex couples. But Republicans say it is their religious right to force other people to follow their religious beliefs.

Bernard “Handsy” MacSeeder spoke at length. “I don’t really like coffee but I want to make sure I have a lot of pee because I am very upset about these gays and I have never kissed one of them on the mouth. Not once! Not even at UGA. I don’t care what Brad says with his gorgeous lying lips, that son of a bitch. I’ll piss my pants!”

The assembled officials chorused approval.

Burnsickle threatened via twitter to not only piss his pants, but to make sure he’d recently eaten asparagus so that the governor would have to deal with the bad smell.

The pants-pissing motion carried overwhelmingly.