Georgia DMV: License Plates Still Not Ugly Enough

Sure, it's ugly, but it could be lots uglier. PHOTO: Georgia DMV

ATLANTA–Having given the general public the option of voting on a newer, uglier license plate, Georgia DMV officials announced today that they are disappointed that the finished product didn’t turn out as ugly as anticipated.

“Don’t misunderstand me, the new plates are hideous, but not the utter shit bomb we were hoping for,” said DMV spokesman, Cracker T. Buford.

Buford also went on to state that he was pleased at the progress made from the recent vote citing that, “our citizens banded together with no discernible eye for even the most basic ideas in taste to select a design that, at least on paper, was an abomination of finger painting and Windows 95 clipart.”

What started out as long, drawn out and aimless process years ago is once again at a crossroads on where to proceed next. First attempts in the mid 00’s to remove all shreds of class from the ass end of our motor vehicles were met with tepid responses.

“Sure, it was brown and had a website on top, but I didn’t feel it had the wow factor of something like two naked octogenarians draped in the Stars and Bars,” said concerned citizen Jazz Gushworthy. “You would have thought the folks had the foresight to add actually poop stains to the license plates instead of the half assed effort the good folks at prison stamped out.”

After wiping the slate clean with the next iteration, citizens gradually gained more freedom in choosing their own crappy emblem to be displayed on their plates. Now Georgians can choose from over 58,000 different NCAA college logos, 41,000 non-profit organizations, 22,000 corporate logos and 11.1 million hate group emblems for their plates.

When asked for a comment on what the DMV plans to unveil next, Buford responded, “We’re thinking of switching from metal to cardboard plates and eliminating letters and numbers all together in favor of the phrase ‘Tag Applied for’ on every vehicle. This would provide tremendous cost savings as well as bring our state into a new golden era for unmitigated license plate disasters.”


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