Falcons Cite Insufficient Facebook Posts in 49er Loss

Falcons quarterback barely able to throw ball due to low social media interest. PHOTO: 55thstreet

ATLANTA–The Falcons have announced that insufficient posting on Facebook about the team was the chief reason they failed to overcome the San Francisco 49ers in Sunday’s post-season game. Twitter hashtag usage was also disappointing, the team said.

“A lot of things hurt us this week in social media,” said Fred Falken, spokesperson. “People don’t realize it, but our players need that attention to survive.”

Falken said that the Lance Armstrong/Oprah weeping session consumed a lot of people’s attention this week, as well as the imaginary girlfriend fiasco involving a Notre Dame football player. He also stated that fans fully expected to lose last week and were not at all prepared to support the Falcons for another sunday.

“Also it’s tough when two teams have the same color. It’s hard to tell if fans in the stadium are being obnoxious for the Falcons or for our opponents,” Falken said.

The high water mark for Falcons social media support came early in the first half of the game, when the Falcons were able to carry a pressurized oblong leather device into a specially marked area at one end of a synthetic grass area known as an “end zone.” They completed this action a number of times, and then also kicked the device through a large steel wicket into a net.

Those early successes, however, were not enough to overcome the social media might of San Francisco, which enjoys a vibrant tech-savvy community able to post 49er-related gibberish with superior frequency.

The Falcons look forward to next year, when they will again be allowed to foot the ball.