City Council Serves Up Open-Faced Sandwich of Equality and Shame

It's sort of a one hand promotes the other situation. PHOTO: Robert Wilson

ATLANTA–The Atlanta City Council concocted an open-faced sandwich on Monday, consisting of some delicious equality lying tantalizingly upon a rich bed of shame. The equality came in the form of a resolution supporting gay marriage, whose invigorating flavor was meant to hide the bitter tang of a shameful pay raise.

“Basically we want to get paid more money,” said Snidely Shiplash (R), Council spokesperson and livestock haberdasher. “But in order to keep from being stoned to death in the streets by underpaid teachers, firemen and police, who have seen an Atlanta olympics more recently than a pay raise, we slid our pay raise shame up under a layer of equality. Pretty sweet, huh?”

The equality in question comes in the form of a resolution supporting gay marriage, which was chosen over resolutions that kittens are cute, that pie is delicious, and that the sky over the state of Georgia is blue on sunny days.