Carnival Cruise Ends Tragically When 3,000 Passengers Arrive In Alabama

PHOTO: Tim Alex

MOBILE—Last night, a Carnival cruise ended tragically when over 3,000 passengers gave up the relative luxury of a powerless, broken down cruise ship to go to Alabama. After a fire broke out in the engine room last Friday, the cruise ship Triumph was left completely powerless for a week. The air conditioning failed, its food started to rot, and the ship’s sewage backed up. “It was absolutely horrible … pulling up to the shores of Mobile, of all places,” said Ashley Hernandez, a 27-year-old teacher from Atlanta who’s had to trudge through 3-4 inches of human excrement to get to her bed for the past week. “I mean have you been to Mobile?” In a public apology, Carnival Cruise Lines announced that they plan on fully refunding everyone for the trip and will put them all on the first plane out from that God-forsaken hellhole.