Atlanta’s Citizens Demand Simpler African Political Crusades

Atlanta's socially-minded citizens demand more easily RT-able social issues.

ATLANTA–Atlanta’s socially-minded citizens were rocked yesterday when a video of some asshole doing something nasty somewhere in Africa — or was it The Sudan — swept over Facebook. This morning, however, there are rumors that the issue has more than one side.

“I RT-ed that video on good faith,” said Georgia State business student William O. Blivéous. “Now I find out that the history of a people’s struggle can’t easily be summed up in a thirty minute video, let alone the first 46 seconds I managed to sit through? Come on, Africa, or Greece, or whatever. Get your act together.”

Ivory Tauer, Dunwoody mother of three, had similar concerns.

“It’s bad enough that our domestic and municipal political matters are complex and multi-faceted without the third world getting into the act,” she declared. “They should make it easier on us by keeping their problems simple, easy to understand, and easy to share via some tasteful social media buttons.”

She nodded primly, and concluded, “If they want my token amount of ‘help,’ that is.”

Backlash on the Agnes Scott campus was as bad, sources reported late Wednesday. Photos apparently depicted undergraduates wandering the campus toting camping supplies in search of something Africa-related to occupy, but were taken with the popular Instagram iPhone application and are thus too hipstery for normal viewing.

Some were said to have set up a small “Occupy” of Krog tunnel late in the day, but we were not able to confirm these reports as of press time.

It is unclear whether Africa will respond to Atlanta’s demands of simpler political issues, let alone make any effort to shape their act up.

It’s this reporter’s opinion that they’re tragically too concerned with their own complex struggles to worry about who posts what on the Internet. Sad days indeed.


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