2013 Off Year Election Results: We’re Still Screwed

Yep, we're still pretty much in the same fix as before.

GEORGIA–Analysts spent a long night reviewing election results, releasing a statement this morning confirming that we, the regular day-to-day American people on the street, are still “royally and completely screwed,” not to mention reviled in more or less every foreign country.

Some challengers managed to wrest office from incumbents, but as is usually the case, voters overwhelmingly agreed to keep whomever they had last time. Even in cases where voters were willing to take a chance on new ideas, there were only two parties to choose from. The bottom line is, we’re still getting it in the pants.